Among life's perpetually charming questions is whether the truly evil do more harm than the self-righteous and wrong. -Jon Margolis

…Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction. –Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.” -unknown

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.” -Bryan White

"A woman is like a tea bag... you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water." -unknown

"...Sir Issac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space!" -Gunnery Chief, Mass Effect 2

I'm the man of the house and I have my wife's permission to say so. -unknown

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton, first Baron Acton

Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

Lo there do I see my Father.
Lo there do I see my Mother and my Sisters and my Brothers.
Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call to me; they bid me I take my place among them.
In the Halls of Valhalla. Where the brave may live forever. –The 13th Warrior (Eaters of the Dead, Michael Crichton)

"It all comes down to a choice really. Get busy living, or get busy dying." Red - Shawshank Redemption

With lies you may go ahead in the world, but you can never go back.” –Russian Proverb

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture. –Matt Groening

“So let’s seeeeeeeeeee, how-a-bout-I-call-yoooooou…Nao-chaaaannnnnn! Yay!” Oh, like that’s any more creative than Naota-kun! Damn hypocrite.
“How come he gets a nickname!” Amarao whines. I blink back into reality enough to realize I’d forgotten anyone else was here. Or where here even was.
“Cuz Naota grew up into a MAAANN!” Oh. My. God. Kill me now.
It is really hot in here, you know? I’m burning up. I hope I spontaneously combust and burn down to smoldering embers before disintegrating into ashy dust. And then my molecules undergo deterioration, spout gamma rays and break apart into their various electrons, protons and neutrons. And then those in turn break down into quarks. And the quarks break down into vibrating strings of energy. And then those strings of energy release their power and explode.
The fact I’m still breathing proves that wishful thinking is a lie! A lie I tell you!

Not a moment after I realized my life for the next couple months (or the rest of eternity) was going to suck, did Haruko pull out a small mechanical thing and slam it on the table and Superior Raharu’s Reign of Terror ensued via live-feed hologram projection.
She went through the usual: Our department is a bunch of primitive, jumped-up monkeys (I don’t know if I really believe in Darwinism, but that still stings), a bacterium could do our jobs better than we do (um no: it couldn’t), we weren’t worth her time (apparently nothing is worth her time so this doesn’t really bother anyone), we should all rot in our respective versions of hell (you mean this isn’t hell?), and last but not least she was certain that our presence in this operation was only going to fuck things up but her ‘superiors’, (she said ‘superiors’ like a normal person might say ‘pond-scum’,) made her do it anyways, and she wouldn’t come near us with a ten light-year long pole if such a thing existed which it didn’t, (Raharu-babe, the feeling is mutual).
“—If I know you people (and I DO, miserably enough,) you’ll somehow manage to screw something up DESPITE whatever I do, so I expect DAILY reports of your progress so I‘ll have time to FIX whatever FUCK-UPS you make before the inspection by the SGC Administrators! If this sorry excuse for an interplanetary relations operation does ANYTHING to jeopardize my standings with the brass, I will PERSONALLY make your lives a living HELL—!”
Okay, I’m getting really sick of this. I think it’s been going on for about an hour now. Maybe longer. Yeah, probably longer.
At the beginning of Raharu’s whole rant thing I was pretty bewildered, nervous, scared and surprised at the same time. But the whole surprised part wore off pretty quickly and after the first half hour or so, the scared and nervous did too, and I had transitioned back into my default emotion: sullen, cynical and mildly irritated.
And if you know the default version of Naota at all well, you’d realize he wouldn’t take this crap lying down. And by ‘he’ I mean me. Why did I just talk about myself in the third person like that? Bizarre. Funny: if I were to blame it on aliens invading my brain it wouldn’t even be far-fetched. Go-figure.
Speaking of aliens…
Interrupting her, I ask in a patronizingly innocent voice: “So what if YOU fuck up? Do we get to make YOUR life a living hell?”
Queue vinyl record backtracking sound-effect.
The eyes of everyone in the room were suddenly looking right at me. A split second’s scrutiny and I knew that Amarao and Kitsurubami looked shocked and freaked-out; Haruko looked quizzical as if I was a dog that had suddenly done an interesting trick; Atomsk had only looked at me long enough to clarify who’d spoken, then shook his bird-like head and let it drop into his claws: a ‘you just HAD to fucking open your mouth, didn’t you…’ gesture, if I’d ever seen one, (and I had).
Shit, I’m stupid.
The moment I realize this, I hear ringing in my ears and the world starts swimming in front of my eyes and suddenly that disembodied feeling I had earlier while walking up to the DII comes back triple-fold. Once again I feel like I’m not really in control of my body. I think my brain got sucked somewhere through my N.O. channel. Yeah, that was a joke. But seriously I’m having a panic attack here.
Raharu looked like she was replaying what I’d just said in her mind, trying to discern whether she’d heard me correctly, because she couldn’t quite believe anyone would talk back to her. “—What did you say—?” Raharu demanded, her voice low and dangerous.
Quick Naota, make something up! I tell myself, but I feel like I’m out of step with time somehow. As if my thoughts are coming both too fast and too slow at once. I’ve got too much time to think and not enough so I start raving in my own head: Why am I talking to myself in the third-person again? Or is that second-person? I think its second person, since I’m telling me to do something…I think…I’m not sure; whatever. I might look it up if I decide I care.
For some reason that I can’t explain, I answer Raharu back, just as condescendingly as before. “I said: If we think you’re a shitty boss who can’t do her job, can we make your life a living hell? I’m justified; it’s only fair.”
Nooooooooooo-ho-ho-hooooo!
God I want to kick myself. It’s too bad that is physically impossible.
I’m under some kind of surreal trance or else I would probably be running right now, because Raharu is fuming. She tenses up, her hands clasped into fists straight at her side, and her face contorts furiously as she spits: “—I am an EXCELLENT boss! How DARE you even ELUDE to the possibility that I might not be—!”
The hologram is slightly larger than real-life not to mention projecting from the table, making the top of her hologram about eight or nine feet off the ground. Which is pretty damn intimidating, I must say. I’m sort of used to the yelling at this point from having to put up with the almost identical, if slightly toned down, rant she’d forced us to sit through the last hour or so. I’m still flinching at some of the main words, but that’s mostly reflex, rather than actual fear. I think most of the negative reactions are being blunted by my state of semi-consciousness.
“—I ought to FIRE you for even CONSIDERING such a thing—!”
Blink.
Fire me? She ought to fire me? HA HA-HA HA ha-ha ha ha…Wow, I’d like to see her try.
Is the fact that I’m mentally laughing in this situation indicative of my mental state? I sure hope not…I think this is another example of having too much time to think about things in my head…
“Go ahead: I don’t work for you,” I said wryly with a hint of a laugh. You know that tone of voice you get while patronizing an idiot who is trying to insult you and failing miserably at it? That’s the tone I’m using right now. Or the one the alter-ego that’s controlling my body right now is using. I think I will call him Bob.
Raharu splutters for a couple seconds before growling and finally stabbing her holographic finger at Amarao. “—AMARAO! Control your employee, I DEMAND restitution! YOU HEAR ME? DEMAND IT!”
Amarao jumps in his seat, startled at being addressed, as if he’d forgotten he was in any way involved, “Uhh…uhh…” he stutters, his fake eyebrows twitching a mile a minute. That’s right Amarao, you aren’t safe either. Welcome to hell.
Raharu seems to realize Amarao is vaguely comatose at the moment and not about to come up with a comprehensible response any time soon, and turns back to interrogating me. “—Who the hell are you, anyways? What are you doing here—?”
“Finally, a good Question. What the hell am I doing here? I should have just walked out ages ago. This was the most pointless meeting I’ve ever been too and I was at the meeting last month when the research department spent the entire three hours insulting Amarao’s illustration skills when he tried to draw a Centuarian alien with dry erase marker on the white board. Ch-yeah. Entertaining, but pointless. This meeting wasn’t even entertaining. I spent the entire time getting bitched at…” Blink, “Damn it, I just said that aloud.” Shit.
“—INSOLENCE—!”
Well, in for a penny in for a pound…“Right back at yah,” I reciprocate voice dull and bored. Or Bob does, anyways. Wish I could take credit for it. Why don’t I? Henceforth anything said by Bob will be cited as if spoken by me: the less masochistic version of Bob.
…The dilation in my perception of time is creating the weirdest running commentary I’ve ever thought of before. I think I’m channeling Haruko or something.
Whatever I give up. Whatever the hell comes out of my mouth comes out of my mouth. I’m not going to bother being nice. Or as nice as I ever am, anyways. Or as sane as I ever am, at that. Fuck it; I’ve never been sane…
Amarao seems to have recouped enough to realize what exactly is going on i.e. the grave I’ve been digging this whole time has gotten as deep as the Marianas Trench and I’m jumping in head first while making a pretty good effort at dragging everyone else down with me.
“Shut up, Nandaba!” he hisses at me.
As I said before, I’ve given up caring what I say to Raharu. She deserves it, anyway. I sigh, “What’s she going to do about it? Yell at me some more? She just did that for an hour. It’s like white noise at this point: unintelligible, meaningless and mildly irritating.”
God damn you Bob. You and your snappy comebacks and big talk…You would be cool if you had even the slightest amount of self-preservation…
“I really will have to fire you if she puts enough pressure on us, Naota-kun,” Amaro informs me. I should probably feel nervous right about now. Odd that I don’t.
“—I’m still HERE, you know—!” Raharu screams.
I say ‘Good for you,’ the same moment Amarao says ‘That’s nice.’
“I thought we went over this, Amarao,” I tell my boss, “You’re not going to fire me.” I remember that we’d come to this conclusion over lunch just today. Was it just today? That increased perceptivity of time made it seem like such a long time ago. When would today be over? Or hell, just the meeting.
“It wouldn’t be me firing you it would be the higher ups.” Good argument, Amarao.
“Meh, once they realize you don’t get anything done unless I’m here they’d just hire me back,” I respond, (that Bob, he always knows what to say). And that’s not even an exaggeration.
“—HEL-LOOOO—!” Raharu yells again but we ignore her; me because I’m just that much of a jerk, Amarao because he wants to convince me not to say anymore stupid stuff before he redirects his attention elsewhere.
“You’re pretty full of yourself,” Amarao says with a frown.
“I’m not bragging; it’s just the truth. Do you know how much double-overtime I get because Kasami has to call me in on my days off because no one can get you to do anything?”
“Of course I don’t, I don’t write the checks, finance does!” Ain’t that the truth.
“Well, let me tell you, it’s a lot.”
“—PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMN-IT—!” Raharu demands, stomping her foot like a three year old. She’d have broken the table if she was actually on it.
I turn to Raharu and giver her my most arrogant stuck-up voice, saying “Could you stop interrupting? It’s rude.”
Amarao flinches and grabs his hair like he’s going to pull it out, “What’s with you today, are you suicidal or something?” Suicidal, no. Schizophrenic, maybe.
“I just listened to Atila the Cosmic Hun over here rant for more than an hour. I’m surprised you’re not suicidal too.” Suicidal he may not be, but his mental health is still in question.
Shruggin, Amarao says, “That’s a good point.” I know.
Raharu is jumping around in her navy blue GSP uniform with it’s her rank bars, like a petulant child. “—Shut up! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!—”
It’s getting kind of annoying. “You shut up,” I tell her, “You’re the one yelling.” My God! Bob needs a fucking muzzle, I swear. The asshole won’t keep his trap shut.
“—No, YOU shut up!—” Wow, that’s mature.
Amarao groans, and starts rubbing his temple, “Don’t encourage him, Raharu…”
The Kukurian rounds on Amarao, stabbing at him with her finger. “—That’s SUPERIOR Raharu to you, Amarao! And I’ll encourage him if I damn well want to—!”
I can’t help smile at how ridiculous this is as I tell Amarao, “Yeah, you heard the lady.”
His ugly eyebrows knit together in irritation. “Shut up Naota.”
“You shut up,” I tell him bossily, “You’re the one butting into our conversation.”
“—Yeah, Shut up—!” See, even Raharu agrees. With Bob no less, who was insulting her all this time. I think that means I’m right. Me and Bob are right.
“Oh my god,” Kitsurubami pleads, speaking for the first time. She looks like she’s about to have a panic attack. Or maybe whip out a revolver and start shooting. Or both. And I thought Amarao and I were unstable. “Everyone: Stop. Saying. Shut up. It’s annoying.”
Raharu glares at her. “—You’re annoying—!” Hehe! That’s funny.
This is so random. It’s probably compounding my feelings of disconnection from reality. “My, what intelligent conversation we’re having,” I remark seemingly absently. I can’t even think of a conversation I’ve had with my four year old niece that was this juvenile. Hell, we had more in depth conversations when she was two.
“—Fine, it’s obvious no one wants me here. I’ll just leave.—” Raharu says haughtily, crossing her arms, pouting and looking a hell of a lot like Haruko. Oddly, I’m getting the impression she actually thinks we care whether she leaves or not. Or rather, she thinks we want her around. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth.
Halleluiah. “Thank you. Finally,” I pronounce with feeling. Bob is just as happy she’s leaving as I am.
“—I’m leaving—!” she says again.
“Great.” Hurry up.
“—I really am going—”
“Okay.”
“—I’m going to leave now—”
“You do that.”
“—I’m going—”
“Good, go already.” Fuck, I don’t think she’s leaving.
Raharu frowns, growling “—Fine! I will—!”
“Fine.”
“—Fine—!”
“Fine.”
“—Fine—!”
“Fine.”
“—FINE! I’m GOING! You happy—?”
“Immensely.”
“—Humph—!” she huffs and the hologram winks out.
Silence.
It starts with a smothered snicker and faint choking sounds, but by a few seconds later Haruko is full out laughing, one hand around her stomach and the other hand in a fist banging against the table as she collapses over it.
I was hoping once Raharu was gone that sense of unreality would break but it’s still running, although the ringing in my ears has toned down a little.
“Damn it Naota, this is all your fault!” Amarao suddenly growls before letting out a strangled whine, slamming his head down on the table and hiding himself with his arms.
Maybe I don’t trade clever repartee with Raharu everyday, but Amarao is another matter altogether. It’s practically my sole method of entertainment around here day in and day out. I’m ready to retaliate without a second thought.
I snuff, looking away as I lean back in my chair. The muscles in my shoulders start to un-tense and it almost hurts. I respond, “If you mean getting rid of Superior ‘pain-in-the-ass’ Raharu, then yeah, I did. No thanks to you.” For-fucking-real.
Amarao looks up from his moping to glare at me. “No, I meant screwing us six ways to Sunday, you asshole!”
I ignore the insult, instead saying, “You know, I never really got that expression.” (Bob, go away; your services aren’t needed anymore.)
Thankfully he gets the right idiom, (I half expected him to start explaining the concept behind the word ‘asshole’). Amarao shrugs, “I think it has something to do with Sunday being the day of rest when Christians go to church and there being six other days besides that…or something…maybe…I dunno.”
Umm…“Even knowing that, it still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me,” I tell him, “Besides, I’m mostly an agnostic, but I practice Shinto.”
Frowning in confusion, Amarao asks me: “Then how come you say ‘oh god’ a lot and ‘god damn’ and ‘what the hell?’”
“Well, it doesn’t have to be that god in particular. Besides, those are just expressions.” Yeah, I bet Satanists say those things too.
“Right, well, the fact remains that we’re fucked and it’s your fault,” Amarao tells me before letting his head go limp to bounce against the table, “Owe-owe-ooowwwies!”
It’s times like these I fear for the survival of humanity and just as quickly ignore that fear as a manifestation of denial.
Haruko’s laughing calmed enough for her to say: “Wow…I don’t remember you guys being this amusing…or this stupid.”
I’m still too out of it to jump at her voice, but I was surprised upon hearing it. She’s been uncharacteristically quiet all this time. It’s freaking me out.
“Haruko-san,” Kitsurubami asks, turning to the pink-haired kukurian, “What can we expect from Superior Raharu in response to this?”
“Hmmmmmm, she’s a cutthroat bitch twenty-four-seven sooooo I expect she’ll be about the same. She’s not really that imaginative,” Haruko informs us apathetically, supporting her head with a hand.
“Yeah, now if Naota-kun can just do that every time she calls us up, you’re covered,” Atomsk says airily, “But no pressure.”
“Gee thanks, I feel so relieved now that you’ve said that—not really,” I inform him. I still feel weird talking to a giant bird. He’s like a blazer-vision version of Big Bird. You know, what he’d look like if you watched Sesame Street while tripping bawlz.
If you don’t know what blazer-vision or tripping bawlz is, don’t worry about it. Your ignorance is a sign that you haven’t been tainted by ‘society’ and ‘the world’ yet. Which is kind of sad, considering I know it and I came from Mabase. Really, what’s that say about where you live? I leave that for you to decide.
“Yeah, I still think that was really stupid of you,” Atomsk told me wryly.
I snuffed, “I could tell, you had this ‘You fucking did not—Shit, you fucking did…’ look going on before it lapsed into complete despair.”
“That obvious?”
“Yeah, but mostly because I was telling myself basically the same thing, and then Raharu really started pissing me off so I was like, ‘you know what? Fuck it, she’s a bitch anyways. This is a response to her build up of shitty karma.’”
Wiggling his eyebrows in confusion, Amarao says, “I thought you just said you were Shinto?”
I shrug, “Buddhism, Shinto, same-thing.” Actually Shinto did adopt a lot of Buddhist customs. Granted it is an exaggeration.
Amarao frowns, “Karma was originally a Hindu concept.”
“Hindu, Shinto, same-thing,” I say mostly just to piss him off. I think Amarao is a Buddhist, although according to him it isn’t a religion, it’s a ‘guide to directly experiencing reality’. I’m sure Buddhism is great, I’m just equally sure Amarao hasn’t gotten the knack of it yet. Or ever will.
Amarao frowns more. “Um no, they’re not.”
Psh. “Same enough,” I declare—wait, that doesn’t sound right. “I mean, close enough,” I correct myself.
Amarao sighs, “You know, sometimes I think you’re the smartest kid I know, and then you do something like this and I start to question.” Aww, that’s so nice…ish…okay, next subject.
“Did we actually have a meeting for a reason?” I ask leaning back in my chair with my arms behind my head, “Besides getting bitched at that is? As in something important?”
“Um, well,” Amarao itches his head before shrugging, “I guess I’m supposed to give our legal aliens some kind of orientation and their paperwork or something but…I’m just going to give you guys your legal interstellar resident visas and send you home. Kitsurubami-san, Naota-kun, just take the rest of the day off,” he said, then as an afterthought added, “And take your aliens with you.”
Ha ha…that’s funny.
“I feel so loved,” Atomsk deadpans. It works even better because his face doesn’t move. And I’ve yet to figure out where his eyes are.
“You’ll be gagging from all the love tomorrow,” I inform him, “It’s a secret inspection day, which means the melodic ring of chastising shouts will echo through the halls and office cubicles.” It is one of my most favorite days. Like a holiday really. Christmas or Halloween. Or something.
“Wow…I’m looking forward to it.” Very sarcastic, this guy is. He seems a lot like me. But I don’t think he’s getting the point of Super-Secret-Inspection-Day and the joy it brings. Or maybe he’s just not as vindictive as I am. Naw.
“You can help me yell if you want to,” I offer, and he perks up. Yeah, he’s totally as vindictive as I am.
“Oh okay, sounds good,” says Atomsk, nodding his bird-like head, voice still emanating from seemingly nowhere. -unknown

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” –Herm Albright

“The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason.” –T.S. Eliot

Memories echo, wandering in the mind,
Unchanged in a changing world. -unknown

Meeting together, the parting of ways,
Hope of reunion, in the heart stays. -unknown

The only thing more annoying than your faults,
Is seeing them reflected in others. -unknown

Loneliness seeps into the soul, unnoticed,
Realized only in the company of others. -unknown

Fear is something to be controlled,
Not to be controlled by. -unknown

All who wage War know my name. -War of the Four Horsemen, Darksiders

Hunger drives us all,
For some, it consumes. -unknown

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. -unknown

"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." –Bertrand Russell

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. -unknown

“Lets have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.” -Abraham Lincoln

“Faith... Must be enforced by reason...When faith becomes blind it dies.” -Mahatma Ghandi

Faith is faith only as long as you believe in it without the need to have it proved to you. -anonymous

"Every person makes choices as to how they will live. Evil does not exist independent of man. Men do evil by choice. Choice involves the requirement to think, even if ineffectually. The most basic choice you can make is to think or not to think, to let others do the thinking and tell you what to do, even if they tell you to do evil. Wise choices require more, they require rational thinking. Refusal to think rationally affords one the ability to maintain the illusion of knowledge, wisdom, even sanctity while committing evil. If you follow the teaching of others who do your thinking for you and who have you do evil, the innocent victims are harmed just the same as if you choose to harm them yourself. Dead is dead. Their life is over. Teachings that defy reason defy reality; what defies reality defies life. Defying life is embracing death. Celebrating faith over reason is merely a way of denying what is, in favor of embracing any whim that strikes your fancy." -Terry Goodkind

"Truth has advocates who seek understanding. Corrupt ideas have miserable little fanatics who attempt to enforce their beliefs through intimidation and brutality… through faith. Savage force is faith’s obedient servant. Violence on an apocalyptic scale can only be born of faith because reason, by its very nature, disarms senseless cruelty. Only faith thinks to justify it....Justice is not the exercise of hatred, it is the celebration of civilization." -Terry Goodkind

"To exist in this vast universe for a speck of time is the great gift of life. Our tiny sliver of time is our gift of life. It is our only life. The universe will go on, indifferent to our brief existence, but while we are here we touch not just part of that vastness, but also the lives around us. Life is the gift each of us has been given. Each life is our own and no one else’s. It is precious beyond all counting. It is the greatest value we can have. Cherish it for what it truly is... Your life is yours alone. Rise up and live it." -Terry Goodkind, COnfessor

Wizards Rules:
1."People Are Stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or they fear to be true."
2. The greatest harm can result from the best intentions."
3. Passion rules reason, for better or for worse."
4. "There is magic in sincere forgiveness, the magic to heal. In forgiveness you grant, but more so, in forgiveness you receive."
5. Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie."
6. The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason."
7. "Life is the future, not the past."
8. "Deserve victory."
9. "A contradiction cannot exist in reality. Not in part, nor in whole."
10. Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self."

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. -unknown

Always forgive your enemies -- Nothing annoys them so much. -Oscar Wilde

“There are two ways to argue with a woman - neither one works.” -Unknown

"We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities." -Bill Maher

Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'-Bill Maher

A knight is sworn to valor, his heart knows only virtue, his blade defends the helpless, his might upholds the weak, his word speaks only truth, his wrath undoes the wicked. -The Old Code of Knights, from ‘Dragonheart’