"The great god Desktop dwells in the sacred heaven of Internet; where the spirits Microsoft and MacIntosh serve the deity's wishes. The god's Prophet was named DOS. Those who are evil are banished to "WorkOffline" for all eternity." The high priests are called "Sysops" and the lesser ones called "Teksupport".
I could go on, but I'm laughing too hard already... –RedEye (anonymous)